WHAT LIES BENEATH

This piece evolved into something much more personal than I had originally intended.

I began with the concept of drawing an abstract self portrait and ‘zombifying’ it. I was home alone and I grabbed a pin and roughly carved the outline of my features into the paper. As soon as I put the pin down, I went into a zone and lost track of time. Without much thought, I used earth coloured pastels to paint the skin tones, roughly smudging and flicking, using my finger tips. I sat for a few minutes, observing what I had just put down on paper. I then began to see patterns in the pastel tones, grabbed a brown pencil and sketched some of them out. Instinctively, I starting shading with green and blue. A few minutes later, my wife returned home and I snapped out of my trance and we began laughing as I looked like a shoeless, messy haired, wide-eyed crazy person!

Throughout this entire drawing process, I never really used my mind to determine what to do next, instead, I used my gut and intuition. This was unusual for me as I am generally a planner and over-thinker. Each section was like a puzzle, slowly interlocking each piece. Along the way, realising what this drawing symbolises.

Mental health has become an important topic to me, now more than ever. The way childhood trauma creeps into your adult life and disables you from achieving your dreams and passions. Beginning art again, over the last few months and after many years of pushing it aside - as a 42 year old, I am realising how important and essential it is for my wellbeing.